And all the papers lied tonight: 12.12.09

A little Lauren Bacall goes a long way. You know what I mean, right? You watch one of her movies, in this case it was To Have and Have Not, and all of a sudden you've got it. That sultry voice. An easy command of men, of the whole room, really. You're in charge, whether or not you're wearing a killer, smartly fitted suit and perky hat. Well, she got me. I watched half of the movie and sailed out into the evening. A man eater.

But for me, it never seems to go my way. A bottle of wine, some easy talk. Sure, it sounds grand. And it is. For a night.

I'm sitting here looking at the bottle of wine we didn't drink. He said we would this week. When he called. Which he didn't. And now, I'm doing the quick math on how hungover I'd be from a bottle's worth of riesling slugs. Yeah. So not worth it for a Friday morning.

It has the smack of the ridiculous to it. Which seems to be the running undertone to pretty much everything these days. Earlier this week, I saw this article run in the NYT. It was so ridiculous, I had to take a minute to let it sink in. Really? The MIT head of admissions who lied about her academic credentials is now...an admissions counselor? I mean, come ON already. It's like The Onion, only better because it's real life.

Which is just what this whole scenario feels like. Here's The Onion headline: "Boy Says He Will Call, but Doesn't; Girl Confused and Crushed." Come ON already.

This would not happen to Lauren Bacall. But you know what else? She wouldn't care if it did.

p.s. Yes, yes. I could call him. Maybe I will.