The Flu Fairy Tale: 2.15.09

Have you heard the tale of the Flu Fairy? She picks your lock at night with a chicken bone and slinks into your bedroom. But not just any night. The Flu Fairy waits for the night before the first 70 degree day in an early taste of spring. She waits for the night before the day before a FOUR-DAY weekend. Her fairy wings are used tissues and some stringy orange pulp. Her hair is greasy and unwashed. Her breath is sickly sweet because she has shining red and yellow cough drops for teeth. Her fairy wand is an old q-tip.

After she is done wheezing around your bedroom, pouring her dark vials of flu vapors up your nose and down your throat, she scurries back outside and whistles for her rat. They go back to her little fairy hovel, which is really just an old chicken soup can she curls up in at dawn. The Flu Fairy and the rat stay up the rest of the night cackling gleefully, lounging around on old tea bags and getting trashed on fermented Robutussin.

The End