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My Ambition Was To Have Ambition: 1.1.09

Dear 2008:

I'd be remiss if I didn't thank you for finally getting me off my duff and onto something new. I was caught in a horrible go-nowhere suspended reality show, circa 2004, the redux. For, like, the third time. It was a real drag. I knew it, you knew it; thank goodness that's over.

I had murky expectations around the move back to B'more. They're still a little fuzzy around the edges, but not in a myopic, unfocused, last row on the eye chart kind of way. They're hazy, hovering on the horizon line, in other words, hopeful.

Also, yes, we did and all that. 2008, you got a lot of people motivated and feeling hopeful. I'm not that special, I guess.

Moving to the half-empty portion of the glass...aw, well. Forget it. There were some things that happened that weren't so great over the last 12 months. I overheard a conversation about the difference between regret and remorse in a coffee shop yesterday.

Regret: The outcome wasn't pleasing, but you'd still do the same given the same situation.

Remorse: The oucome wasn't pleasing and you know, in horrible gut-punching aha bursts of dismal realization, that you would do it oh so differently given the chance.

I'm not sure I agree with those definitions but I like the jist of distinction there.

And, yes. Despite my best intentions to avoid the insipid draw of motivational optiomism , I've got a new little to-do list multiplying like mold spores in the back of mind.

2008, it's been real; now get.

reflect - reinvent ....rayclaire@gmail.com... what i used to think... what i hear... what i see... where i'd like to be...

the black apple... the girl who... sarah brown... thunderpie... evany... jenny b harris... posie... claude le monde... artsy... fartsy... jeff... random person in texas... another rachel... smitten kitchen... more of me... still more of me... even more of me...and yet still more of me...more of me but not for free...

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