My Ambition Was To Have Ambition: 1.1.09

Dear 2008:

I'd be remiss if I didn't thank you for finally getting me off my duff and onto something new. I was caught in a horrible go-nowhere suspended reality show, circa 2004, the redux. For, like, the third time. It was a real drag. I knew it, you knew it; thank goodness that's over.

I had murky expectations around the move back to B'more. They're still a little fuzzy around the edges, but not in a myopic, unfocused, last row on the eye chart kind of way. They're hazy, hovering on the horizon line, in other words, hopeful.

Also, yes, we did and all that. 2008, you got a lot of people motivated and feeling hopeful. I'm not that special, I guess.

Moving to the half-empty portion of the glass...aw, well. Forget it. There were some things that happened that weren't so great over the last 12 months. I overheard a conversation about the difference between regret and remorse in a coffee shop yesterday.

Regret: The outcome wasn't pleasing, but you'd still do the same given the same situation.

Remorse: The oucome wasn't pleasing and you know, in horrible gut-punching aha bursts of dismal realization, that you would do it oh so differently given the chance.

I'm not sure I agree with those definitions but I like the jist of distinction there.

And, yes. Despite my best intentions to avoid the insipid draw of motivational optiomism , I've got a new little to-do list multiplying like mold spores in the back of mind.

2008, it's been real; now get.