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The best prom scene ever! 1.21.05

So, I went to the gym yesterday. Sometimes, going to the gym really makes me mad because it reminds me that modern life is such that I feel the need to pay money in order to go and stand in a room and lift heavy things a few times a week, and come on, shouldn’t that be easy to do for free? The other thing I pay to do at the gym is act like I am running up some stairs really fast. You know what’s funny? There are stairs outside of my gym that I could run up! Really fast! For free! However, yesterday going to the gym did not make me mad because while I was running up the fake indoor stairs, I got to watch TV (which may be what I’m paying for…can’t do that on real stairs, can ya?) and “Carrie” was on. Not only does “Carrie” have THE BEST PROM SCENE EVER, it also abounds with fabulous late-70’s fashion and the wan, pale horror that is Sissy Spacek. Also, it is pretty funny to think about Carrie at the gym. No, not at the pigs' blood prom-decorated gym! I mean like telekinesis at the gym, right? She could totally lift weights from across the room. She could lift weights while she was busy running up the fake stairs. She could tie personal trainers up with jumpropes, she could wreak havoc with the medicine balls. But she should probably stay out of the locker room. She doesn't do too well there.

Because I love “Carrie” so much I was tempted to stay on the fake stairs for the duration of the film, but I am lazy. So I get off the fake stairs and there is this girl standing there. “Here you go,” I say, feeling magnanimous and lazy and pretty great. “Thanks,” she says and then makes this kind of downward eye movement like she is waiting for something else. I hang around for a second thinking maybe she is also into the Carrie thing and is trying to get the fake stairs started by the powers of her mind, but no, apparently she is just standing there waiting, and then I realize for what. She is waiting for me to go ahead and wipe down the handrails of the fake stairs with the foul smelling cleaning fluid that people love to slarve all over the machines after they finish using them.

Now, I did it. I walked over and got the yicky stuff and wiped the handrails down, but the thing that gets me is that I DID NOT TOUCH the handrails. Not once. Because I like to swing my arms, or pretend that I’m jogging and do the elbow thingee, and whatever. The important thing is that I did not touch the handrails, even when getting on or off the fake stairs, and still—the girl waited for them to be cleaned. This happens everytime I use the fake stairs. And believe me, I barely break a sweat anyway. The exercise bikes I can see why people like those wiped down—because you have your sweaty ass warming the seat for 30 minutes—but the fake stairs aren’t like that. I might as well wipe down a doorknob after I use it.


reflect - reinvent ....rayclaire@gmail.com... what i used to think... what i hear... what i see... where i'd like to be...


the black apple... the girl who... sarah brown... thunderpie... evany... jenny b harris... posie... claude le monde... artsy... fartsy... jeff... random person in texas... another rachel... smitten kitchen... more of me... still more of me... even more of me...and yet still more of me...more of me but not for free...


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