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GLINT


I can see clearly now: 8.19.04

Today, I�d like to talk about something men are good at. Yes, some them have shown insane prowess at scuttling past my �oh please� scanner and burrowing deep inside my diseased heart. Yes, some of them have shown almost ridiculous skill at neatly quartering my brain into parts labeled �dumb, �mo� dumb,� �pretty dumb,� and �stoopid dumb.� But I am speaking now of PRACTICAL skills. Useful skills. Like the hunting. Like the gathering. Man�s innate abilities.

In my vast years of cynical experience, I have learned that men are nothing if not practical. Why, here�s Exhibit A: Just yesterday, I was over at a pal�s house and settling down to make immature comments about the female breaststroke swimming trials, when I happened upon an oven mit stuffed into the arm of the sofa. Stupidly, I held it up and inquired as to its placement there. My pal gazed upon me with a mysoginistically implied sense of wonder. �Because I was using it to eat,� he told me. Whaa�I started to think and then thought better. Ohhh. HE WAS EATING DIRECTLY OUT OF A WARM POT. Practicality incarate.

So of course their knowledge base will be practical. Here�s the skinny: men are smart in the romance dept. because they always keep their options open. Rarely have I witnessed a lad who develops the debilitating short-sighted romantic myopia that women seem to immediately contract. Huh? No, I�m not gazing at you, darling, I�m SQUINTING because all of a sudden I can�t see past you. I can�t see beyond you. I can�t see around you. For sure, I can�t see through you. Blinded by love indeed. But men? They have no problem with looking long into the distance and seeing other prey on the horizon. They remain far-sighted long into even the happiest of monogamous relationships. They may be colorblind, but that�s their only visual shortcoming. They can see for miles and miles and miles.


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