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GLINT


I can see clearly now: 8.19.04

Today, I’d like to talk about something men are good at. Yes, some them have shown insane prowess at scuttling past my “oh please” scanner and burrowing deep inside my diseased heart. Yes, some of them have shown almost ridiculous skill at neatly quartering my brain into parts labeled “dumb, “mo’ dumb,” “pretty dumb,” and “stoopid dumb.” But I am speaking now of PRACTICAL skills. Useful skills. Like the hunting. Like the gathering. Man’s innate abilities.

In my vast years of cynical experience, I have learned that men are nothing if not practical. Why, here’s Exhibit A: Just yesterday, I was over at a pal’s house and settling down to make immature comments about the female breaststroke swimming trials, when I happened upon an oven mit stuffed into the arm of the sofa. Stupidly, I held it up and inquired as to its placement there. My pal gazed upon me with a mysoginistically implied sense of wonder. “Because I was using it to eat,” he told me. Whaa…I started to think and then thought better. Ohhh. HE WAS EATING DIRECTLY OUT OF A WARM POT. Practicality incarate.

So of course their knowledge base will be practical. Here’s the skinny: men are smart in the romance dept. because they always keep their options open. Rarely have I witnessed a lad who develops the debilitating short-sighted romantic myopia that women seem to immediately contract. Huh? No, I’m not gazing at you, darling, I’m SQUINTING because all of a sudden I can’t see past you. I can’t see beyond you. I can’t see around you. For sure, I can’t see through you. Blinded by love indeed. But men? They have no problem with looking long into the distance and seeing other prey on the horizon. They remain far-sighted long into even the happiest of monogamous relationships. They may be colorblind, but that’s their only visual shortcoming. They can see for miles and miles and miles.


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the black apple... the girl who... sarah brown... thunderpie... evany... jenny b harris... posie... claude le monde... artsy... fartsy... jeff... random person in texas... another rachel... smitten kitchen... more of me... still more of me... even more of me...and yet still more of me...more of me but not for free...


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