And then there�s this: 6.03.04

The number of times you hit snooze this morning is inversely proportional to your degree of satisfaction with your life choices.

If you get into the office before 10 then you won�t feel bad taking an hour and 20 minutes for lunch and leaving at 4.

The number of beers you consume during happy hour is equal to twice the average interval of consumption, the derivative of this function being equal to zero, with a slope into the number of years your current situation will remain constant.

A certain percentage of the remaining bar population is less than or equal to the person you have just met and linger with over a whiskey as happy hour winds down.

The probability that this person is incredibly nice, witty, and smart is greater than the urge to just head on home and end up watching reruns.

Another round surpasses the usually low standard deviation from the normal banalities of small talk, suggesting a high significance level, with a confidence interval of < .05.

If cynicism leaves the bar at 9:48 moving very slowly, weaving slightly, and is passed by your expectations, rising at a rate of mutual laughs per joke and moving at an ever increasing velocity, which will arrive at Seth�s impromptu house party first?

The diameter of your circle of friends in common equals the sum of the past eight months in adjacent neighborhoods and the squares of the lengths of the other two sides of the story.

The depth of the conversation you have at the party is equal to the length of time you feel compelled to stay on the fire escape smoking multiplied by the volume of gin and tonic consumed.

The ratio of the area between you to the space that separates you is greater than or equal to anything else right now.

You may arrive at prime factorization by sharing a cab which gives you the least common multiple equal to any perimeter that is sum zero.

Where k is a constant, if you multiply by one too many, sin(x) and sin(y) cancel each other out.

Afterward, the quiet of the room reveals you both as vertically opposite angles--two angles formed by the intersection of two lines. This means that you share a common vertex but no sides or interior points.

Minus random variable p, four times the circumference of the remaining hours before tomorrow is equal to the amount of sleep you would have gotten.

The number of times you hit snooze in the morning will be inversely proportional to your degree of satisfaction with your life choices.