10, 10, 10 for everything, everything, everything: 5.7.04

Ten years IS a long time. No, dummy, no, I am not talking about the whole �Friends� thing. I don�t pay attention to people who are paid ONE MILLION dollars per � hour or so to portray people who sit around and do nothing, and don�t even do that bang-up a job of it. I swear, those kids made it look retarded to sit around in a coffee shop even before Starblockos came along and made it officially retarded. And plus, they are all tired and sagged out and stretched out from sitting on their duffs so much and having babies and group sex once a week for ten years. It was time for them to go. No, I am talking about me and my ten-year college reunion. Sigh. I just rsvp�d to the damn thing and am now constantly checking myself in these weird self-critiques and wishing my hair didn�t have these ridiculous streaks in it and was back to lovely red. But I must synchronize my beautification rituals this summer with all the weddings I must attend and not kowtow to my own personal vanity. Owwww, it stings! It smarts! Neglected personal vanity!

So, there is no way at all I could come up with a segue for what I am about to remark upon. I had to get a ride with this person yesterday for professional purposes. It doesn�t matter who she was, or where we were going, or that I had never met her before. We get in the car and pull into traffic, and she says, �Do you want any water or anything,� reaching behind her for a water bottle in the back seat. �No thanks,� I tell her and watch as she takes the water bottle and then produces a glass from somewhere and pours the water in the glass, sips, and puts it in her little cup-holder thingee. She notices that I am watching her do all this and, I think, mistakes my look of utter glee at the weird shit people will do for one of incredulity. She gets all defensive. �Yeah, I know I�m weird, but everyone has their own idiosyncrasies and I like to drink out of a glass.� �While driving,� I say to complete the sentence. �While driving,� she concurs. People, it was fabulous. I felt like rolling down my window and asking for some goddamn Grey Poupon.