Shazam!

I was sitting outside trying to simultaneously cram as much sunlight as I could under my squinting eyelids and as much coffee as I could down my gaping gullet. I sucked intermittently on my nic-stick. Someone sat down next to me, and said, �If you had one wish, what would it be?� I turned slowly, thinking �This could be it! The big break! A release from this world of drudgery that I was never meant for,� and was not surprised to see a somewhat disheveled, dirty individual staring at me and patiently waiting for my answer. That�s ok. I know what is called for in such situations. You never know when you might come face to face with a powerful sorceress, or Jesus, or Ed McMahon in the guise of just some annoying, disheveled, dirty person who wants to make your acquaintance. Rule #1: don�t be rude. I responded, �Man, I don�t know. How the hell should I know?� See, the sunlight and coffee infusion hadn�t fully kicked in yet and so my ability to follow the Brothers Grimm handbook was somewhat impaired. �Shit,� I said. �What about you?� �No,� the stranger persisted, �I�m asking you.� True that. I was ready to snarl and snap and start waving my arms and screaming, �Leave me the fuck alone! Why do people have to incessantly poke and prod and interface with me in this dumb town when I just want to sit here and soak up cancer in all it�s varied forms?� Instead, I smiled sweetly and remembered my early fairy tale training at last. �Why, I�d wish for as many wishes as I wanted to be granted.� And the annoying, disheveled, dirty individual sat back and kind of snuffed to himself and said, �Well then.� We sat together in the sun.