Dear Mark,

1) The last small sounds of night let me down easy. The click and hiss of the lighter, the sigh of pages settling into the closing book, the tap at a line of ash, the lazy complaint of the dog down the block, the tsk-tsk of ice melting into gin, the rush of distant traffic like waves breaking, the snap of the porch light turned off, the quiet slap of bare feet from room to room to bed, wheezy purring from the puss curled into my neck.

Why do you have to ruin it at 4:32 a.m.?

2) Yes, I bring a book to a bar and read. So what? At least I am not panting after a bit part in a clique of cockrocker scenester wanna-be�s. And, alone and at home don�t equate to lonely and homely.

3) Personal comments? Fine. You should at least hold your choice of skanks to the same standard that governs your choice of pizza toppings: no fish, no fungus. If you fail to do this, you are not remiss in withholding certain details from polite, public conversation.

4) Lying is stupid. If you have not ever heard of Philip Roth, just say you haven�t. Or try to be a better liar.

5) I hate lying. You are such a poor substitute for the person I�d actually like to spend time with, but you keep my mind off of things. I will tell you this eventually.

6) If I hear you say po-mo again, I will spit on you.

-R